Earliest Memories

My Dad was a school teacher. Mom and Dad were married in 1930 after they both graduated from Manchester College. Dad first taught in Akron, IN – a small town close to Rochester, IN. I was born in 1937. Our family moved to Goshen before I was 2 years old. I don’t remember anything about living there, but I remember the house being pointed out to me when I was older. Dad taught at the Concord High School until he was hired by the Mishawaka Schools. We lived in a house on State Street in Mishawaka first. I was between 2 and 3 years old. I remember the kitchen having a built in table with a bench on both sides and a fireplace in the living room that had my picture on the mantle. I remember a few people visiting us in that house. One was Gareth Heisler (Benton’s father) before he was married. Another was Aunt Mildred (Mom’s sister.) And a third person was Miriam Weybright (Dad’s cousin who became Miriam Cable and had 4 boys: Charles, Allan, Bruce, and Lowell. E was supposed to stand for “End” but Edwin came along a few years later.)

What is one of your favorite children's stories?

I liked to read and I assume I was read to as a young child. I know John Daniel was and I did some of the reading. I can remember walking to the library (about 1 mile from our house) to get books. I walked about 6 blocks to the elementary school I attended and on about four more blocks, through downtown Mishawaka, turn right and go one more block to the library. I had a book bag to carry my books home. The children's library was in the lower level of the building. I remember reading the Lois Lenski books -- which was a whole series about children who lived in different parts of the US. They gave a bird's eye view of life around the US. The ones I have run across recently are pretty shallow, but I thought they were interesting at the time. I also liked the Laura Ingalls Wilder series--stories of her family as they moved to different parts of the US: Little House in the Big Woods, The Long Winter, On the Banks of Plum Creek, Little House on the Prairie, etc. One part that affected me was when her sister became blind because of having Measles or Scarlet Fever or something. One story I remember either reading or having read to me at a fairly young age was Hansel and Gretel. That one upset me! I'm not sure which authors or books I really liked--there were a lot of them. But I do remember always having a book with me and I continued reading. I remember reading Les Miserables when I was in high school. It took me a long time! I still usually have a book in progress, although I sort of got away from it during the pandemic. I am somewhat back at it again. As an adult I have had the habit of recording the books I read on a spreadsheet. I haven't done so since our computer crashed, but someday I will boot the old one up and put my spreadsheet on a disk -- maybe.

What was your first big trip?

My first big trip was to Texas. I was 4 years old. We took Grandma Shively and Mildred to Galveston to visit some relatives. I have no idea how they were related, but I remember the trip. We stopped a few places along the way. I remember Mamnmoth Cave in Kentucky and Hot Springs in Arkansas. I also remember Baton Rouge, Louisiana. One street — I assume the main street — had big signs attached to the street lights. Each sign depicted a different nursery rhyme. I remember being quite fascinated by them. When we got to Galveston, I remember the residents greeting us at the door. I have no memory of the inside of their house or what the people looked like, but I am pretty sure we stayed there a few days. The one thing I do remember is going to the beach in Galveston and hunting for shells. I also remember looking at those shells after we got home and as well as the black and white photos we took. They were about 3 x 3. I remember nothing about the trip home.

Are you still friends with any of your classmates from grade school?

I have not kept in touch with my grade school friends at all. I do know that one was a policeman in Mishawaka and is no longer living. Mishawka has about 8 grade schools and unless something brought us together in high school I didn’t have any connection with them. Since we moved to Ohio I do not see my high school friends. However, I have kept in touch with a few of them — although I have not connected for quite a while. Sharon Wiekamp Showalter was a good friend in high school and we have written a few times. She lived about 8 city blocks from my house and I remember walking to her house for a visit occasionally. She was an only child and we had some good times together. Judy Kelley Bauer was another good friend. We sang in a trio together and sometimes were invited to sing at a women’s group meeting of some kind. It would be fun to see some of these people, but we really have no connections with Mishawaka anymore. I can name a few more high school classmates but have not kept in touch in any way. I have connected with some of my college friends but not recently. My freshman roommate was a 2nd cousin but she moved to California and passed away several year ago. She had a younger sister that lived in the Onekema area but she was several years younger and I don’t think she would have any idea who I was. I did talk to one of the kitchen staff who lived in the area and knew her, but she didn’t live very close. Another college friend was Reta Neff and she always sent me a Christmas card, but I haven’t received one for a couple of years. She lived in Phoenix, Az and I never knew her children. One of my college roommates (Ruth Cook) lives in Southern Ohio. When I was working for Everence, I would go along with Lois Bontrager when she had meetings with church reps in different parts of Ohio. We were setting up tables and preparing for the evening meeting in Southern Ohio when Ruth walked in. Lois had found out about our connection and made arrangements with Ruth to come for a visit without my knowing anything about it.

Where did you go on vacations as a child?

Some of our vacations were staying at a lake for a week in a rented cottage. Most were fairly close to home, but one was in Minnesota. A teacher that Dad taught with at the high school had a lake side property on Bay Lake in Minnesota. She lived in a small cottage on the property and rented out the larger cabin overlooking the lake. Dad liked to fish and I often went with him. We caught mostly blue gills, crappies, and bass, but at Bay Lake in MN he also fished for and caught Northern Pike. I was expected to help clean the fish — it was just part of the routine. The cottage on Bay Lake was rather a long cottage with a great view of the lake. It had only two bedrooms, so John and I shared a bed. He was probably 5 or 6. I laid down strict rules that he was not to cross a line I drew down the middle of the bed. I remember that he did not always agree with my placement of the line which led to some chatter! I also remember Mom and Dad being rather amused by our dickering, but occasionally one if them appeared in the doorway to say “that’s enough!” The cottage looked out over the lake, facing north. At least one night we watched a great display of Northern Lights. Another vacation I remember was driving to California. I remember driving through NM and Arizona seeing sand, sand, sand, and cactus plants. We went the southern route and came home though the MidWest. The excuse for going to CA was a church conference somewhere in mid CA. We did the usual tourist things—one I remember was driving around the streets of Hollywood. Also we went to San Francisco to see the Golden Gate Bridge. We went to Yosemite Nat’l Park and admired the big trees and large pine cones. We drove around Lake Taho. We stopped in Las Vegas to see the sights. As we entered one casino the doorman stepped in front of John and said he had to stay out because he was too young to be admitted. We didn’t use any of the machines (Dad would not have allowed that). I am pretty sure we did not stay overnight — just sort of a drive through and move on. In Utah we spent some time at the Great Salt Lake and saw the sights adround the Mormon Tabernacle. We stopped at a restaurant somewhere and after looking at the menu, Dad and Mom had a small discussion and decided we needed to leave. They served alcohol. We drove on and found another place to eat. A little farther on, Dad and Mom had another discussion. We were going to run out of money before we got home. (There were no credit cards — or at least not in our household.) Did we want to stay someplace overnight or should we just keep driving? The decision was to keep driving though the night and save the cost of lodging. John had a driver’s license ( I think he was 16) so all 4 of us could drive. In the morning as we were leaving Iowa, Mom realized she had not been able to see any of Iowa and the much talked about farm land. So we backtracked some. We made it home — I don’t remember anything about the last part of the trip, but we did not have to push the car or walk!

How did you get started playing violin and piano? How much did you practice?

I started taking piano lessons when I was 4 years old. Mom was acquainted with a piano teaching method called the Robyn System which was geared to teaching very young children. She took me to Elkhart for piano lessons. We did not have a piano yet, so she made arrangements with a neighbor to practice on their piano until ours was in place. I remember going to their house, but it probably was not for very many weeks. Eventually I started taking lessons from a teacher in Mishawaka. I remember her house very well. It had an enclosed front porch in which we waited until the student before left. The piano was in the living room on the far side of the room beside the bookshelves. She had an older daughter who I could hear quietly working in the kitchen preparing a meal or something. I very seldom saw anyone but Mrs. Grove. I took lessons from her for quite a few years.

I practiced “rather diligently” (emphasis on “rather”). The problem came in a recital when I had to play alone. I hated them and was really scared to play for an audience. When I was taking violin lessons I actually got sick and managed to get out of those recitals. I played in quite a few piano recitals but I sort of remember playing as fast as I could to get off the stage as soon as possible. However, I could play to accompany hymns in church without a problem and often did that when we visited Grandma’s church.

Practicing was not my favorite activity, but I did fairly well. It was a lot more fun to just sit down and play whatever I wanted! With the violin I liked playing in the group (orchestra, string quartet, string trio, or whatever) and did a lot of that but never solo! Our high school string trio provided dinner music for many groups. That was no problem.

I took violin lessons from Mr. Hames. He was a professor at Hillsdale College in MI. He started the South Bend Symphony Orchestra and was the conductor for quite a number of years. He came to South Bend on weekends to give private lessons. I took from him for quite a number of years. He was a very kind and sympathetic person. He could tell when I was about to have a piano recital. He would ask me to sit down and play my piano piece, which I could do with no problem. The concertmistress of the So Bend Symphony Orchestra was Laura Mae Briggs. She taught in South Bend and was in charge when we had an all city orchestra concert (meaning So Bend, Mishawaka and other close by schools that had an orchestra). Before the practice sessions began we would have to “try out” - which meant playing whatever Miss Briggs put in front of us, and then she would decide where we were to be seated - 1st chair, 2nd chair, 5th chair — ranked by how we played in the try out session. I played 2nd chair in our high school orchestra by the time I was junior. We were a large high school and were considered to have a very good orchestra. In the all city orchestra (when I was a senior I think) Miss Briggs seated me 8th or 9th. I had never liked her real well, but that year did it! About that time or soon after, Mr. Hames’ wife died, and in the next year or so he married Laura Mae Briggs. (I never could understand why!)

Miss Wonderlich

Miss Wonderlich was one of my teachers at Bingham School (Grades K - 6). She taught music in grades 4 through 6. Each student had a homeroom. When the bell rang the whole class “passed orderly” from one room to the next for the next subject (Reading, Grammar, History, Arithmetic, Music, Writing, Geography). Each teacher stayed put in his/her classroom and the students walked orderly in single file from one classroom to the next at the end of the period.

Miss Wonderlich taught both writing and music. She had a reputation for being a very strict and no nonsense teacher, but also a reputation for producing excellent music concerts. (I was scared before school started when I was going into 4th grade, because I knew I would have her. Mom had to calm me down more than once in late summer. After I had her I rather liked her because music was one of my things, and I learned she wasn’t really so bad!) There were certain things we were supposed to have with us for her class — pen, pencil, folder of paper, eraser, etc. Sometimes at the beginning of the class she would ask us to hold up each of the required pieces of equipment one by one as she called for them. The folder of paper consisted of lined paper that we had used on one side but was unused on the second side. This was shortly after WWII and so nothing was to be wasted. The pen was a shaped wooden piece about 6 inches long with a metal contraption on one end that held a sharp metal “point” and just above it a little hole that would hold ink when the pen was dipped into the ink well in the upper right corner of the wooden desk. Then with a very light touch on the paper with the pen, you could write and then re-dip the pen into the ink well when you ran out of ink.

Just outside her classroom door was a drinking fountain. The pipe that brought the water to the drinking fountain came through the wooden floor in a smallish hole. When you turned the handle on the side of the fountain, a small stream of water would be brought to the drinking fountain. One day as class began she asked us to hold up each of the required pieces of equipment we were to have with us. This was not unusual, but this day she asked us to hold up the pen with its writing point first—which was not the usual order. One boy was not able to hold up his pen. It had fallen (or been dropped) through the water pipe hole outside door on the second floor to the first floor. We were then promptly given a lecture on how dangerous this could have been. The janitor was standing near the spot where it landed. I do not know if the pen was dropped on purpose, but dropping the pen and having it hit the relatively small hole in the floor would have been rather unusual. (I remember his name, but I won’t use it! He was a rather ornery kid—and was in my class through high school. I can remember a few things over the years that did not endear me to him!)

In music class we sang and were to learn several patriotic songs — America (My country ‘tis of Thee), Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, Battle Hymn of the Republic, etc. — all the verses of some of them. Eventually, we stood beside our desks, and going around the room, each person was to sing one line of the song for that day, the second person the next line, etc. around the room. If you messed up you had to sit down. She had high praise for those that were standing at the end of the song. I don’t remember that she was hard on the ones that didn’t stay standing, but looking back, I think it was rather large expectation. I was in the 4th through 6th grade choir and can remember it as being a good experience.

Another thing she was noted for was her assigning the students that were in her 6th grade home room to make a music notebook. There were several sections. Biographies of some of the famous composers, explanations on the different instruments in an orchestra and what some of their characteristics were, current musical personalities. When I was in the 6th grade, she was not our homeroom teacher, so she could not make kids do a music notebook — but she gave you the option to do one on your own time if you wanted to. I made a notebook and rather enjoyed the project. But I do remember spending a lot of time and doing quite a bit or research.

How did you get your first job?

I think my very first job was peddling truck patch produce around the neighborhood. We had a large garden on our lot south of Mishawaka. We grew a variety of things, but tomatoes and beans were two that we had an abundant supply of. (Never end a sentence with a preposition) I would put them, along with anything else we had, in the wagon and knock on doors in the neighborhood. There were quite a few people that would buy. I got to keep the money I earned.

My next job would have been giving young beginning students violin lessons. And my third job was going with Dad on his rug cleaning jobs (in another story.)

Growing things reminds me of a gourd that grew one summer outside our kitchen window. The plant attached itself to a trellis that Dad had made. I think it produced only one gourd, but it was shaped like and was the same size as a baseball bat. In the fall our school had fall festival in which families in the school district would display their produce. This would have been after WWII and people were encouraged to plant a garden. I took this gourd to school for the fall festival and it won a blue ribbon. Our family had a picture of this gourd, but I don’t know where it is. It was a one of kind thing. We saved the seeds from the gourd, but never again had anything like it.

What were your favorite cartoons growing up?

Amos and Andy was a well known cartoon that was featured in newspapers as well as having a weekly radio show. I remember listening to it when I stayed at Grandma Shively's house. They would tune in and listen. Charley was a fan of Amos and Andy and would listen, sometimes in the barn while he was milking cows. (Charley lived across the road from Grandma Shively and was married to Mina (Mom’s oldest sister). They had two children (Anna and Gareth). Anna was married to Varner Chance and they were the parents of Rebecca. My mother would have been a few years older than Anna. Growing up, Mom lived on one side of the road and Anna lived across the road. Mother was unable to attend Anna’s wedding because I had been born just 4 days before. None of these things have to do with Amos and Andy or cartoons in general, but they are just Shively history that I thought you should know!

What were some of your family's Thanksgiving traditions over the years?

Thanksgiving was a big day for both the Shively and Stout families. We went to Grandma Stout’s house on Thursday. Dad had two sisters, Hazel (married to Emory, parents of Max), and Ruth (a widow with three lively boys. Hazel and Emory lived with Grandma Stout on the farm. They moved there after Grandpa Stout was killed in a farm accident involving run away horses. Ruth’s three boys were all older than I was — the youngest being two or three years older. We always ate on time because we had to be finished before the afternoon football game began. Sometimes we would stay at Grandma Stout's house overnight and then go to Grandma Shively's house on Friday. Mother had 4 sisters who had a total of 4 children—five after adding in Rebecca, the first grandchild. We all sat around the dining room table (a bit squeezed) and some of the sisters went back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen to make sure that we all had more than enough to eat. My cousins and I and a few of the adults played games in the afternoon. Chinese checkers was a favorite. We also played some card games (rook, canasta) always in the living room away from Grandma’s sight because she did not like card games. Not that we tried to hide the fact but she almost never came farther than the dining room, and we never played the kind of card games that were taboo. We also played a lot of Carems. We usually would gravitate to the piano. Rebecca, Allen, and I all played the piano. Allen played by ear, Rebecca could play anything, and I tagged along. We sometimes would play the silly duets that kids liked to play. I don’t know how to describe them, but you would recognize them if you heard them. The sisters would set out leftovers for supper (which none of us needed to eat) and Bill and Charley would leave to go do the evening chores. Sometime during the afternoon the sisters and adult females would gather at the dining room table to reveal their secret sisters for the year and then draw names for the next year. The idea was to get a small gift for the person’s name you had and get it to them somehow without the person figuring out who it came from. They had a lot of fun with this. It started with just the five sisters and they added in the adult women that joined the family as the time went on. This might have been done at Christmas rather than Thanksgiving. Another memory I have (that has nothing to do with Thanksgiving) is the Shively clan gathering at Grandma’s during the summer for a big weiner roast. The fire was built in the big farm driveway west of the house. We had all the hot dogs and marshmallows that we could handle. Summer time at Grandma’s also meant a walk to the woods. It was about half a mile west of Mina and Charley’s house and back a lane between the two field along the road. At the beginning of the driveway was a big bittersweet bush which Mildred liked to pick and had in a vase in the parlor,

What was your Dad like when you were a child?

I am including both Mom and Dad in this story:

Dad taught at Mishawaka High School. The school was only 3 blocks from our house on 3rd Street, so he usually walked to and from school. Mom was a “stay at home Mom’ although she had a degree in Home Economics from Manchester College. Dad often sold tickets for football and basketball games – and we went to a lot of them. I can remember a football game when I was about 4, watching intently. In a questioning and observant way I said, “He dropped his hankie! He dropped his hankie again!” With snickers all around Mom explained to me that the referee was making a signal in the game – not dropping his hankie!

Dad was a Social Studies teacher at Mishawaka High School for a few years before becoming the principal at Beiger School (an Elementary/Junior High School a few blocks from our home. I attended that school when I entered 7th grade. John started school there – I think because we lived just 2 houses from the dividing line between the school district of Bingham School (where I went to Kindg through 6th grade) and Beiger School, where Dad was Principal – and Bingham had too many students, so John was assigned to Beiger.

There were quite a few Manchester graduates living and teaching in the South Bend/Mishawaka area. We attended the 1st South Bend Church of the Brethren as did quite a few other Manchester grads who also lived and worked in the area. Mom and Dad were part of a Sunday School class that was very active and got together frequently for meals and fun times. There were lots of children who were near my age. I can remember my Dad as a very social and fun person in this group of people. We visited in each other’s homes, had meals together, and had a lot of family contact. Mom enjoyed having people in for Sunday dinner.

Side note: 1st South Bend Church of the Brethren was located in an older neighborhood in South Bend. This Is the church where Ralph and I were married. The neighborhood was becoming more and more run down and commercial. Parking was only along the street and there wasn’t any room around the church to expand. Therefore the church built a new building in the south end of South Bend and called it Crest Manor. The last time Ralph and I tried to drive past the old church building, it was a filling station.

One of the activities that Dad and John enjoyed was what they called romping on the floor. Dad would help John do sommer- saults or balance him in the air, etc. John was probably 3 or 4 years old. As John grew older, Dad became more stiff and uinsteady in his movements. Writing was difficult. When Dad was principal at Beiger, he would sometimes send notes to the teachers during the school day. I can remember one time when I was in Junior High one of the teachers handed the note to me to read aloud. It was kind of a joke that Dad’s handwriting was hard to read.

On one of our summer vacations to the east coast, one of the places we stopped was Baltimore. John and I were instructed to stay in the car, lock the doors, and not open them for anyone or anything. I think I knew mom and dad had some kind of appointment at the Baltimore Hospital, but I had no idea what it was about. It was sometime after this that Dad received the diagnosis that he had Parkinson’s Disease.

I was just entering high school when the diagnosis was confirmed. John would have been in the 2nd grade. He did not remember the dad that was relaxed and played with him on the floor in the living room. No cure was known and at that time there was very little help for controlling the symptoms. Dad was on some medications over the years that were experimental. Now there are some things that help, but at that time doctors were just learning about the disease – and there was very little that could be done. He progressively became worse and in a few years it was necessary for him to take early retirement from teaching. I think it was during the time we were living in Kenya the first time (1962 - 1965) that Dad retired. Mom had a teacher’s degree but had never taught. She felt it was necessary for her to do so as Dad’s condition progressed. She had a Home Ec license. I think she tried teaching Home Ec for a year or so but did not like it. She also tried teaching kindergarten, but did not enjoy that either. I’m not sure how long she taught before she retired. We owned an acre in the country south of Mishawaka that we always had a garden on in the summer, but the idea was that we would eventually build a house there. That idea was given up and they sold the lot. Dad and Mom celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary with an open house celebration (similar to what most people do for their 50th). They figured that Dad would not be able to enjoy or maybe not even participate if they waited for their 50th. Dad stayed as active as he could, but it got so that he would fall easily and I can remember at least one time he had a pretty skinned up face. Movement became very difficult and unsteady. He was eventually unable to drive. When grandchildren came along he would hold them too tightly and they would cry. He tried to stay active but it was difficult for Dad to talk understandably and movement was difficult. He was a very different man. It also made Mom a very different person. The grandchildren never knew the fun side of them. Even John would not remember the fun side of Dad that I knew. He was a totally different person — and so was Mom.

Mom and Dad moved to Greencroft in Goshen. Dad could no longer mow lawn or do household upkeep. Mom was doing the driving by then. I am not sure what year Dad died (I think 1972), but they were on their way to Indianapolis for an appointment with a specialist. They stopped in Kokomo to stay with Paul and Mary (Mom’s sister) overnight. I received a call that Dad had been taken to the hospital and I should come as soon as I could. We lived in New Carlilsle at the time. Jon was 1 or a little older. Randy and Lisa were in school. I took Jon and flew to Kokomo. I think it was Lora’s sister Sara Beth that met me at the airport and took me to the hospital, but John met our car and said Dad had passed away. It was fortunate that he died of a heart attack, because the Parkinson’s was making it harder and harder to do anything and affecting more and more aspects of his life. The affect that Parkinsons has on the body is more and more confining to all aspects of the body’s function. His memorial service was at Crest Manor Ch of the B in South Bend where they were still going to church. One lighter incident that is rather comical: Mom felt she needed something to wear for the funeral. I went shopping with her in Goshen. She tried to describe to the clerk that she was looking for a nice dress, darker in color, etc. The clerk was doing her duty and brought her some very nice dresses and was trying to sell her on one of them. We told her that the dress needed to be for a funeral, and she got all flustered and didn’t know what to say. She did find an appropriate dress and managed to complete the sale.

Mom continued to live in Goshen at Greencroft and was still driving, but sometimes did not get where she was going until quite a while after she was supposed to be there. It became apparent that she was getting lost on her way to familiar places. That is when John and Lora moved some of their bedrooms around and gave her a room on the first floor of their home. We had many great visits to Detroit and the cousins had some fun times together.

She had several good years there. Eventually however she was getting more and more forgetful. John and Lora finally made the decision that she needed 24 hr watching and they found a very nice nursing home fairly close to Lathrup Village. They moved her and we were able to visit her there. Lisa might remember the trip. She and I made the trip alone – and Lisa was learning to drive. We thought that was a good chance to practice in heavier traffic (at least she thought so) – however I got so nervous and upset that I made her pull over and I took over the wheel. Sorry Lisa!

However, Mom had very strong objections to this move to a nursing home, and she refused to eat. No one was able to convince her otherwise and she passed away several days later. Mom and Dad are both buried in the New Salem Church of the Brethren cemetary (between Syracuse and Milford, IN), Dad’s home church was New Salem and his family lived on a farm very close to the church. Crest Manor Ch of the Breth had no cemetary.

What famous people have you met and how did you meet them?

While I was a student at Manchester College, some of my favorite memories are connected with playing the violin. I was in the Symphony Orchestra, the String Orchestra, and the String Quartet. The String Quartet would be asked to play for Commencement at some of the local high schools as well as for dinner music for groups occasionally. We of course played Pomp and Circumstance for the processional as the seniors marched in and took their seats. The String Orchestra had a string festival that area high schools were invited to participate in. They would come to the College for a day of practice on Saturday and then we (the college string orchestra plus all the high school string players) would give a concert on Sunday afternoon (or Saturday night—I don’t remember which). The curtains on the college auditorium stage were all pushed back to make as much room as possible on the stage for the string orchestra. It was rather impressive to see the String Bass section—2 or 3 players from 5-6 high schools plus the college string bass players! The big draw for high schools was that a guest conductor would be invited to lead the practice on Saturday and then a concert for the public. One year the guest conductor was Mishel Piastro who was the conductor of the Longines Symphonette — a well known group who was featured on a radio concert every week. He had been the Concertmaster of the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. He brought his wife and her poodle dog along. They sat in the auditorium all day Saturday listening to us practice. Another year the guest conductor was Arthur Fiedler, conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra. They both quickly learned that they had to slow down the tempo considerably from what they were used to conducting! I don’t remember which one made the comment about the string bass section needing to tone down because they sounded like a herd of buffalo (or something like that). They eventually adjusted to high school/college capabilities and managed not to be too frustrated with the task they were required to do. I was the concertmistress of the String Orchestra. (Not sure why because I was second chair in both the other groups — and should have been in the String group as well). Therefore, it was my job to stand at the end of the concert and shake hands with these celebrities-[-something to remember! I would love to see how they would describe the day — then again, maybe not!

When did you get your first car?

I did not own a car until I was out of college. In fact, I did not learn to drive until I was in college! The first car I had was a ford (don’t remember what model) - color: black. I needed it to drive to my job as a teacher. I think one reason I didn’t have a car earlier was because we had a fairly good public transportation system in South Bend and Mishawaka and I learned how to get around that way. At one time Dad had an old model shift car which I remember driving occasionally. Not sure why I drove it, but I was not great at shifting smoothly!

The Stout / Weybright Clan

The Weybright clan has been thoroughly researched and Randy can tell you all about them. Geyer was another name in his family tree, who I have very vague memories of. However, I do remember some of Grandma Stout’s extended family and we had quite a bit of contact with them as I was growing up. Grandma's brother was Charley who was married to Nettie. We visited them quite a few times and had some meals with them. I remember them and their home quite well. Nettie was a big talker and a very welcoming person. Charley and Nettie had 2 children: Miriam and George both of whom had families that lived in houses on the farm. Charley’s farming business involved growing and harvesting seed corn. Miriam’s husband helped in this, but I don’t think George did. He was an independent farmer. His wife was Rachel and they had 7 children — which included two sets of twins. Their oldest twins were Myron and Muriel. I roomed with Muriel as a freshman and we stayed in contact a long time. She married at the end of her freshman year, but this marriage did not last. She re-married and they eventually moved to the west coast. She passed away a number of years ago. Myron married a Manchester girl and I think they live in the Seattle area. I think I talked briefly on the phone with them one time when we were in Seattle.

Dad's Quartet

Dad sang in male quartet at church when we lived in Mishawaka. They were quite good and had a lot of fun. The members were all from Dad and Mom’s Sunday School class. Fred Roop sang 1st tenor, Dad sang 2nd tenor, Dick Reinoehl sang baritone, and Art Dickey sang bass. I don’t remember them singing anywhere other than church, but they had a good time practicing. They decided to make a record and found a man who had a “recording studio” in his home. Some of the men’s families went along to the recording session and I was along. He put the family members in an enclosed front porch while the guys were recording. His equipment was in his basement and the quartet sang into a microphone in his living room. The man set them up and told them to be very quiet when they finished a song. Then he went to his basement and hollered up to them when he was ready for them to start singing. They sang their first song. Then Dick R. hollered OK to let the guy know they were finished with the first song. The guy was not too pleased because of course the “OK” was picked up on the recording. So they started their session again—and all must have gone well for the rest of the session because we have a record of several songs that they recorded. John and I both have a 78 record of their songs.

Freshman College English Class

During our first semester of college English we were given a test to see where we were in our knowledge of the English language and our use of grammar. The people who scored high enough were invited to skip the next Freshman English grammar and instead take a course in writing. I qualified for the upgrade — but I hated writing — or so I thought. I opted to take the regular English. My friends thought I was nuts, but I did it anyway. It was likely not the best decision I have ever made. But maybe that explains why I keep putting off writing these stories????

What is the best job you ever had?

One of the most interesting jobs I had was working at the South Bend area telephone switchboard. It was a summer job when I was in college. The telephone company was making some major updates and they needed temporary people to manage the switchboard while they trained the regular staff workers. At that time when you made a long distance call it had to be handled by the switchboard operators. A call came in, the switchboard operator answered, and put the switchboard plug in the proper hole to make the right connection. I may not be remembering the details just right, but it was something like that. It was interesting because it was something totally different than anything I was familiar with. I was assigned different shifts, and if I was working the late night shift, they would provide a taxi to take me home. I usually rode the bus to and from work, but providing the taxi for late night shifts was safer. I sometimes took a call from somebody I recognized as important or someone I knew. Of couse I could not speak to them other than finding out where they wanted to be connected and you connected the call and then cut out. We temps were slower at making the correct connection, and sometimes the caller was a bit upset. It was a part of my education of the real world!

How did the two of you meet? How did Ralph propose to Carol?

Carol tells the story:

Ralph was teaching in New Carlisle, IN and looking for a church. He eventually found 1st South Bend Church of the Brethren. where Carol attended. We had a young adult Sunday School class. We did some fun things with other young adults in the Northern Indiana Church of the Brethren area. Early in the fall we had a roller skating party some place several miles away — I think Syracuse or New Paris. Ralph invited me to go home with him. (It’s a hidden piece of information that I made sure I went to the skating party with someone else doing the driving.) That was our first date and we did several things in the South Bend/Mishawaka area after that. I remember going to some high school basketball games with him. I also remember going with him to watch him play in a YMCA league game. My comment was “you play rough!” High school kids are not allowed to be that rough. I had gone to a lot of high school games from the time I was in elementary school. ( Dad sold tickets for Mishawaka High School basketball games just as he did football games. The Mishawaka Cavemen played the South Bend Schools as well others in the area. Central High School was one of the well known schools in the area and had done very well in basketball, So Ralph and I had some common basketball experiences to talk about. He started coming to South Bend Ch of the B and we dated regularly, I think it was on Valentines day that he actually proposed. He came to see me pretty late in the evening and I was somewhat upset — thinking he was not coming at all. All was forgiven when he showed up. (He had some excuse for where he had been.) We decided an engagement ring was not necessary. I think he formally asked my dad to permission to marry me. We did not announce anything publicly for a couple of months. Another teacher at Twin Branch where I was teaching at the time was dating someone regularly and expected to get married the next year. That relationship fell apart and I felt bad for her and tried not to talk too much about my plans.

Ralph adds:

I would only add to this story that I am six ft. one inch and Carol is only 5 ft. 2 inches tall. I weigh about twice as much as she does. Although she aggressively set up this social encounter on roller skates that evening, When it came time to skate, my size and athletic experience allowed me to take charge of the skating. We both had a great time.

What are your favorite songs?

One of my favorite hymns is Move In Our Midst. The words were written by Kenneth Morris who was the editor of the Gospel Messenger (Church of the Brethren monthly publication similar to Mennonite Christian Living or today’s Anabaptist World). The music was written by Perry Huffaker, a COB pastor in Northern Indiana. It was written for the 1950’s edition of the COB hymnal. It soon became a favorite in the COB. It was sung at our wedding by a men’s quartet from Kouts, IN — a very well known group that a couple of Ralph’s cousin’s sang in). When the new Mennonite Hymnal came in the 1970.s or 80’s, Move In Our Midst was included and soon became well known in the Mennonite Church as well.

I liked to listen to recorded music but I preferred the Classical stuff to the popular music of the 50’s , 60’s, 70’, etc. That probably was partly because of my participation in string quartets and orchestras in all my school years. I played in both our high school and college orchestras, and small ensembles, and it was a major part of my social life, I particularly disliked the popular music of the 50’s.

How did you decide to go to Africa? What are some of your favorite memories from there? What was difficult?

Ralph was teaching in New Carlisle, IN and Carol was teaching in Mishawaka. The three East African countries (Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda) were getting their independence from Great Britain and education was becoming more desired and more necessary. Teachers were in short supply. Mennonite Central Committee committed to help provide teachers for the three East African countries and called it Teachers Abroad Program (TAP). Ralph learned of this program and decided he would like to go. Carol agreed. We were getting married in August and the first group of TAPers were scheduled to go in September. The Mennonite Church had had a mission program and schools in Tanzania for a long time so some of the leaders were called upon to help get this program underway. We were given books to read that would help us better understand African culture and were asked to attend an orientation session in Akron, PA. Ralph was taking a summer class, so could not attend, but Carol did and so was able to meet some of the other TAPers that were going. Somehow I don’t remember much about the orientation except I got a lot of teasing because Ralph didn’t call during the week as often they thought he should. We had a lot of experiences in Kenya. We had access to several kinds of bananas — which was an education in itself. I still get frustrated with bananas here because they get overripe so fast. We could keep a whole hand of bananas (a complete bunch of bananas that was 1 1/2 to 2 feet long) and eat them for several weeks without them overripening. We also had finger bananas (3-4 inches long) which were a little sweeter than our bananas, red bananas (had a red outer covering) , cooking bananas (which the local Kenya people used a lot of), and other kinds, (the names of which I have forgotten). Going to the market was interesting. The women laid out a blanket on the ground and put their wares (food, clothes, cloth, pottery, beads and jewelry, etc.) on the blanket. Each community had its own Market Day. Bartering was the norm. Pots and other large pieces were carried on their heads, balanced with one hand (or none). Sometimes a baby would be in a carrier strapped to the mother’s back along with the load on her head. Babies were commonly carried on the back of the caretaker (mother or female child).

Roads were interesting, especially during the rainy season. Most were red clay roads which got very slippery and muddy. Blacktop roads were called tarmac roads, and there were some. There are a lot more now. People walked to school, church, the market, etc, so you had to be careful if you were driving. The red clay made a fun place to play for young children. You may remember the picture we have of Randy at about age 3-4 after he had been playing outside in a red mud puddle. During the dry season the dirt roads could be very bumpy.

We did quite a bit of traveling in the three East African countries _-Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda. The was a Mennonite mission station in Tanzania that we visited several times and made some good friends there.

The most difficult experience was the birth of our first child, Beth Ann. We had a doctor and mission hospital close by. I had German measles. I have no idea how I was exposed to it. If an African person had it, you likely would not know it. The mission hospital 10 miles from where we lived had a nursing education program. The doctor asked if I would be willing to stay in the hospital while I was sick so they could use me to teach the student nurses about caring for someone in isolation. That was the positive part of the experience. I went into labor in December. Ralph and a few other mission teachers were climbing Mt Kilimanjaro during the school’s December break. I was staying with another TAP teacher’s wife in Eldoret when I went into labor. There was a good mission hospital near-by and the men were expected home soon. They were home by the time I actually gave birth to Beth Ann. She was full term but only weighed 4 lbs. Not too long after she was born, the hospital doctor asked me to move to another room so they could bring my baby into the room where they could keep her warmer. The next day doctor came in to tell me that she had not made it. Shortly before that I had heard a commotion among the nurses and one came into my room (rather franticly) asking me where my doctor was. He soon came in to tell me that Beth Ann had passed away. In the United States you would never be allowed to go into the nursery and I never thought about it being possible. Ralph had been in her room and seen her but I had not. She was very tiny. She was buried in the cemetery in Eldoret. Everyone was very supportive, but it was probably one of the most difficult times we have ever gone through. As I look back on it, it was probably good that she died right away. Being only 4 lbs at full term is not normal, and she could have had a multitude of problems. But it was a very difficult experience to go through.

The second time we went back was with a Columbia University program that was called Teacher Education in East Africa (TEEA) and we were placed in Teacher Training Colleges . As there were more schools and more need to get a good education after the East African countries received their independence from British colonization, educating African teachers was a priority. We were assigned to a school in northern Kenya that had a wonderful view of Mt Kenya (when it was not covered by clouds). —and we were paid, rather than having a voluntary service income. We were about 20 miles south of Meru which was the last town before the drier and sparser populated part of Kenya began. The drive to Meru was beautiful but around and through very hilly and steep country side. The teachers at the school were from many different places around the world. It was a Catholic school headed by Father LaGreca and Father Botto, who were Italian. There were four or five Catholic sisters that lived in the house at the top of the hill who taught at the school (Americans). The houses south of the Sisters were on a hillside with each house lower than the one before it, lived in by families from England, Ireland, and the US. The families all had young children, so there was plenty of activity. Some single teachers lived on the other side of the school compound as well as another family or two. Off of the St Lawrence Teacher Training College grounds, down the hill and around a curve or two was a girls’ school and also a small village where you could buy a few local things. It was an interesting bunch of people. Dad and some of the men went hunting some weekends, and we had some fresh meat that was not from an old worn out cow. He also headed up some activity for the Protestant students who attended the school.

One big project that multiple people took on was a presentation of the Mikado complete with costumes. Some of the students took part. I think it was one of Irish wife’s that had the music/script and played the piano. Everyone put some effort into this project. We made costumes out of curtains or whatever material we could find. The audience was the rest of the staff and student body that was not in the production and the girl’s school down the hill. It was fun — and rather amazing for this group of school teachers and families to put this together.

Since this was a teacher training college, the staff would accompany students to neighborhood schools. Randy would sometimes go with him. Among other things Dad was the Games Master so sometimes it would involve overseeing a soccer match. The African boys were quite good at soccer.

We had a good two years at Egoji before coming home to live in New Carlisle.

What is one of the worst trips you've ever taken? What went wrong?

I think we were either coming from or going to Musoma where the Mennonite mission school and hospital were located in Tanzania. We were in a game park. I don’t remember many details, only that we had a problem getting out and back onto the main road. It was wet and the red dirt roads become very slippery. We either had to get to the part of the park where there were buildings and civilization or we had to get out of the game park. We were having trouble getting to the gate. It was fairly late in the day. We were trying to drive on the grass off the road but even that was too slippery to have good traction. Finally we decided that Dad had to get out and push to keep the car going forward and I had to steer. The first rule in a game park in Africa is “do NOT get out of your car”. We did not see any animals nearby, but that doesn’t always mean there aren’t any. We did make it out and to a more passable road before dark, but it was not my favorite experience in Africa.

First Christmas in Kenya

The first time we went to Kenya was with the Mennonite Church Teachers Abroad Program (TAP). Each year we had a retreat in which all the TAPpers in East Africa came together for several days. The first year we were there this retreat was in Dar Es Salam Tanzania (Tanganyka then). I do not remember how we got there, but we had a great time. Went swimming in the Indian Ocean, looked at sea shells and other water life in the tide pools that were created at low tide in the Indian Ocean, watched a local man climb up the trunk of a coconut palm tree to retrieve a coconut, etc. It was in late December. We were assigned to a Friends (Quaker) mission in Kenya that was on the west side of Kenya, close to Lake Victoria. Dar Es Salam is on the east side of Tanzania, so it was not just a hop skip and jump to get home. I do not remember how we got there, but we came home by bus. Roads are not necessarily smooth, and certainly are not all tarmac (paved). The first leg of our journey was from Dar Es Salam to Nairobi — don’t remember how long it took —maybe 16 hours. We had several rest stops on the way. The women went to one side of the bus and the men went to the other side. There were two couples of us Mazungas on this trip. The men took the break and we females chose not to. Our clothes were not as adaptable to squatting as the local women did. We got to Arusha rather late in the evening where we were able to find a more proper facility. There were a few times on the trip that the bus needed a little more power through a muddy patch in the road. The men jumped out and pushed the bus through to drier ground. This was all quite natural. When we got to Nairobi the bus trip was over and we either had to find a place to stay or go on several more hours to the west side of Kenya. The other couple decided to go on to Kaimosi (which meant travelling on Christmas Day) and we decided to stay overnight in Nairobi. The Mennonite Guest House was not yet in Nairobi. There was a British run Salvation Army Guest House that seemed like a reasonable place to stay. They had a Christmas dinner for all the guests. The facility was fine — but Christmas Dinner, the decorations, and atmosphere was more like a New Years celebration than Christmas. I had a hard time —first Christmas away from home, no extended family around, not a Christmas atmosphere, However, we made it back to our home in Chavakali the next day. (I don’t remember how, but it probably had to be another bus ride.) Don Jacobs later said that planning the TAP retreat so that we had to travel on Christmas Day was not the best idea and made sure that the next TAP retreat did not create this problem.

Have you ever gotten into a scrape while camping?

One time we went camping with a small group of people, I think from St. Lawrece TT College. I am not sure why a group of us went or what we were planning to do. What I remember is the middle of the night. We were located at a higher altitude than where we lived. St Lawrence was about 5,oo0 ft. which makes climate near the Equator quite comfortable—occasionally needing a light jacket. However, we were camping at a higher altitude—maybe 7,000 ft. That altitude makes the nighttime rather chilly. Randy and Lisa were along — Randy about 3 and Lisa a year more or less. We put most of the blankets on the kids and Ralph and I slept on the same cot with all the blankets we had left. I can’t say we stayed comfortably warm, but we made it through the night. The next night we had a few more blankets. We had been in Africa long enough that we should have thought about that little detail.